I have an adopted son. When we were approved, my wife and I were over the moon. This little boy, whom we had already fallen in love with, was going to be under our care and in our family for…
Posts published in “Communication”
“Summer lovin’ had me a blast. Summer lovin’ happened so fast”. — lyrics from “Summer Nights” from Grease. It’s a delicious fantasy, isn’t it? — falling in love while on vacation or on the summer job at the beach. Movies like Grease…
Addiction is an incredibly lonely disease. However, we typically associate addicts with two extremes when it comes to sociability. On the one hand we imagine the stereotypical “life of the party” who abuses substances to become sociable, friendly, and functional,…
Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating. It’s mind baffling. It’s anger provoking. So why do people resort to such relationship-damaging behavior? And why is it so hard to change the pattern? The pattern typically begins innocuously with a “Yes” and a “No”…
The world today needs optimists more than ever. Optimism, seeing the glass as half full or the conviction that things will eventually work out, is a cornerstone of resilience and an absolute asset in achieving any kind of success in…
Communicating with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be confusing. Facial expressions don’t always match the situation and even what is communicated through words can feel irrelevant or crazy-making. Language is one of the key tools of manipulation for…
Premarital counseling might seem like the last item you want on your wedding to-do list, but consider it the best gift to your marriage. Couples counseling isn’t just for those in crisis, or who are experiencing relationship difficulties. Learning to…
We often praise people who give ultimatums, who say things like “By such and such date, if I don’t have a ring, this relationship is over.” Or “I want ______, and if you’re not willing to give that to me,…
We assume that communication should come naturally to us, and maybe we think it does, especially in our romantic relationships. After all, we communicate all the time. We talk to our partners all the time about a wide range of…
Our ability to be resonant with ourselves is a key for bringing healing into our life. “Why am I so stupid?” “I am such a loser.” “Why can’t I do anything right?” These are just some of the questions that…
Having kids is miraculous and meaningful. And it also tends to disrupt a couple’s emotional connection and sink their relationship satisfaction. Which makes sense. It’s a massive change. Your entire identity shifts, and so does the structure and texture of…
One partner in a couple who have been married nearly four decades, reported that she felt controlled by her husband. When asked if it was always the case, she responded in the affirmative and when taken a step further, and…
You cannot love someone maturely and try to control him (or her). The behaviors of both partners should be voluntary. As you discuss the kind of life you want to have together, focus on what really fits for you. Ideally,…
Parents talk to their kids a lot. In a single day, they can issue a multitude of instructions, orders and requests as they converse with their children. Rarely do they stop to wonder if their kids understand what they are…
You have a choice every time you say something to someone. By your choice of words, your tone of voice and your body language, you nurture or weaken a relationship. Now I know a few people who will take this…
The holidays are fast upon us and, in the blink of an eye, Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, and New Year’s Eve will have already come and gone. Along with the holiday season comes much time spent with family from near and far,…
Most of us want to have a successful relationship, and yet there are behaviors that we engage in that are surefire ways of wreaking havoc on our relationship. A likely cause is that we didn’t know that our behavior was…