I didn’t engage in behaviors like calling or texting multiple times—if anything, I did the opposite, out of fear of being perceived as needy—but the thoughts alone, their irrationality and all-consuming anxiety, caused me a lot of pain. Fear of…
Posts published in “Relationships”
“Summer lovin’ had me a blast. Summer lovin’ happened so fast”. — lyrics from “Summer Nights” from Grease. It’s a delicious fantasy, isn’t it? — falling in love while on vacation or on the summer job at the beach. Movies like Grease…
You have a demanding career that requires a lot of your time and energy. So does your spouse. Maybe one of you—or both—travels for work. Maybe you’re also parents, and you also like to golf, practice yoga, take painting classes…
While my dad was in the hospital, on a ventilator with five chest tubes attached to his body, I thought it was a good time to start working on my website and a new blog. I’d sit in his room…
Don’t wait until tomorrow to figure it out! Falling in love with someone you’ve been dating is typically a beautiful, romantic experience, but when depression, low self-esteem and other mental health issues crop up and cause you to turn to…
Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating. It’s mind baffling. It’s anger provoking. So why do people resort to such relationship-damaging behavior? And why is it so hard to change the pattern? The pattern typically begins innocuously with a “Yes” and a “No”…
Is your love life suffering because of your mood? Is it hard to have a healthy relationship when you’re depressed? Absolutely, yes! Mixing depression and relationships is tricky. I know because I’ve been there. I’ve struggled with depression for my…
Many of us hold unrealistic fairytale expectations about marriage which result in disappointment with a spouse or with the institution of marriage itself. Both were true for me when single. Now happily married for 30 years, I still now and…
Communicating with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be confusing. Facial expressions don’t always match the situation and even what is communicated through words can feel irrelevant or crazy-making. Language is one of the key tools of manipulation for…
A few years ago, I had a delusion that I was Wonder Woman incarnate and penned these words: “I am thrilled to say that my invisible Wonder Woman cape and tights are in the Jeep (along with my faerie wings, which are…
Premarital counseling might seem like the last item you want on your wedding to-do list, but consider it the best gift to your marriage. Couples counseling isn’t just for those in crisis, or who are experiencing relationship difficulties. Learning to…
We often praise people who give ultimatums, who say things like “By such and such date, if I don’t have a ring, this relationship is over.” Or “I want ______, and if you’re not willing to give that to me,…
I wrote Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death, and Surviving because I was angry. Angry that so many of the bereaved clients that came through my door, were suffering more than necessary because they felt they should have been coping better,…
I’ve been thinking a lot about a growing trend in divorce — one that seems to happen right after the holidays. The case of spouse abandonment, aka when you thought the marriage was fine and you were looking forward to…
We assume that communication should come naturally to us, and maybe we think it does, especially in our romantic relationships. After all, we communicate all the time. We talk to our partners all the time about a wide range of…
Most successful and beneficial relationships include an element of trust. Expecting loyalty, reliability and trustworthiness you assume that the other person will do what they say, that their word can be relied upon and that promises, commitments and agreements will…
Having kids is miraculous and meaningful. And it also tends to disrupt a couple’s emotional connection and sink their relationship satisfaction. Which makes sense. It’s a massive change. Your entire identity shifts, and so does the structure and texture of…
One partner in a couple who have been married nearly four decades, reported that she felt controlled by her husband. When asked if it was always the case, she responded in the affirmative and when taken a step further, and…
Everything always going wrong? Ask yourself these questions. Do you think that your life should be a reality TV show since it’s just a series of dramas every year? Are your friends and family in a position of constantly getting…
You didn’t do everything on your to-do list. You let a loved one down. You yelled at your spouse, or your six-year-old. Or both. You still haven’t gotten over your ex. You thought someone else would make you happy but…